HOW I STOPPED CARRYING ABOUT EXPECTATIONS
There is so much more about you that what people are expecting from you
While the people around us mean well when they try to point us what direction to take, it's ok to say this is not my path and more on because following the path of another person will lead us to not feel 100% content.
It's fine to be inspired by people you admire, but basing your life on other's way of living it's not the most authentic choice you can make for yourself.
I believe that when choosing, there is always a small fear and sometimes sharing that with the people around you will also add their fears into the equation.
To follow your own path and to fulfil your life, has to begin with an inner work, the work of knowing yourself.
Know yourself first
When you know who you are and what you want to feel (more than accomplish) things start unfolding easier.
Of course sometimes we might need guidance and advice, but following someone else's path and doing it by their standards feels disempowering and mostly not authentic.
I found my voice when I started following my own advice
For me moving out to a different country was very empowering and it made a big difference on my journey.
Growing up, my environment was based on the same stories that repeat in every generation and I never felt like that was something I wanted to experience.
The easiest way for me was to move on and find my own inner guidance.
In the beginning was less easy, because all the voices you hear in real life, since you are a kid, they keep on repeating on your head and then you just have so many voices, that is hard to see who is fighting with who over there.
Clarity can be found only on a quiet mind, and when all the voices are talking, the mind is more like a tornado, and you can't really make decisions on a storm, because it's stressful, we can't think clear when we are under stress.
First lets organise the mind
Know that all the voices in your head are not right and recognise what voice feels easier, smoother and better.
Choose to feel emotions that are easier to 'digest'. I find myself many times having a mum voice fighting with a rebel teenager, in some cases I decide to follow the mum voice, and some days being a bit of a rebel feels easier.
It's all about finding the right balance between what feels good, what I want and how my best version will proceed on this specific subject.
Comparison will not help you
If you are trying to see what you want more clearly, you will have to step out of what everyone else is doing. What others are accomplishing and the way they are living their life, has nothing to do with what will fell good for you and looking at others before going deep into your own self, will always lead to disappointment.
It's hard nowadays with all the information we have and how curated everyone's life look like, but trust me, finding your own authentic self feels so much better than trying to mimic another person.
The universe needs you on your full potential
People are all different and that's what makes life fun, the planet would be boring if we all look the same, if we all do the same thing for a living, if we all choose the same type of life partner and so on.
There is something amazing that happens when a person embraces their own uniqueness and you might have seen it on the people that you admire.
Embracing your true self will give you self confidence and a clarity that has nothing to do with any external circumstance.
When people are honest they look beautiful and there is a magnetism around them that can't be forced by acting like someone else just to be liked.
You don't need to be liked
You are not in this life to be liked by everyone around you. No matter what you do, always someone will disagree or have a different point of view.
It's easier to surround yourself with people that appreciate you and that don't criticise you. People that are expecting you to be who you are and that are happy to have you in their lives because you bring so much value to them.
Avoid 'constructive criticism' that will make you try to fulfil others needs and that will never be enough. A person that wants yo to be who they need you to be, will never have enough, and that doesn't mean you are not enough, it means those are not your people. When you forget about yourself trying to fulfil others, life gets miserable.
Be yourself and the rest will fall into place
When you change, the people that are used to you pleasing them will not like the 'new you', and that's ok. This is not about them.
What is it in your life that is screaming to express itself?
Show it to the world and know that you will find the right people to be around you when that happens.
When you are your best version and you make every decision based on what feels the best for you, not thinking about any other person's opinion, you will be free to create the life you see in your dreams.